The Paths This Mama Could Take

There are so many paths I could take as a Mama.  From the day I knew a tiny heart beat inside of me, I was having to choose which paths I would take.  In the evening when she drew her first breath was the same day I was born with her- as a mother.  From that day on I feel that I too have been growing at an enormous rate, learning fast how to mother, what it means, how it works and what doesn’t.  Every path I choose to walk down, or not walk down, is shaping me as a mother, and sometimes I feel just as wobbly as she is now, rising to her feet and standing there, solidly and yet- not.

I feel the weight of time passing.  Every day and every month that passes, she gets older.  I am missing the preciousness of how small she was, but without a doubt falling madly in love with who I see she’s becoming.  And I know that soon the paths I must choose will get harder.  My choices for a midwife and homebirth were fairly easy.  I always knew I wanted a natural birth.  Deciding on which, if any, vaccines to get was harder.  Making choices like cloth or disposable, when to start solids, or should we let her sleep with us definitely made us think, but now I’m seeing that this is just the easy stuff.  As she moves into Toddlerhood and beyond, I will have to make daily (along with my husband) even harder decisions like how to discipline, how to shape her character and how to teach her about God.  

But even more important than that is the journey of becoming the Mama I long to be.  Because all those small and not so small decisions always come back to that.  Slowly God is shaping me into the Mother I ought to be, and slowly I am choosing which paths of Motherhood I will walk.  

What I long for most of all is to be a Mama that loves God.  I long to raise children that love God, much more than I even want them to be smart, happy or successful.  I long to be selfless.  To truly love my children for who they are, not for what they can do for me, and not for who I want them to be.  I long to be different.  I don’t want my children giving in to the stresses of this world.  I don’t want them getting caught up in fashion, or trends, or the latest toy.  I don’t want them chasing dreams that won’t ever fulfill.  I don’t want them chasing the treasures of this life.  I long to be faithful, and by that I mean full of faith.  I want to have faith in my children, seeing them for what they could be, not left in the mistakes I know they will make.  And I long to see this world as temporary and adjust my life accordingly.  

Every day I hope, and I know God will work in me, to see the desires of my heart meet up with the reality of my world.  In the meantime, I am just taking one step at a time.   


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mea
    Dec 07, 2011 @ 04:01:08

    If you love God then your children will too. You are a wonderful mom. Being different is awesome! Something else we have in common lol. Can’t wait till we can share our adventures of motherhood over baking Christmas cookies lol.


    • thegentlehome
      Dec 07, 2011 @ 20:49:07

      Aw I can’t wait! It will be fun that our little ones can play together. Motherhood is awesome, it is making me into such a better person than I was before. Hard, but worth it. Can’t wait for you to experience the same.


  2. Booksphotographsandartwork
    Dec 08, 2011 @ 00:22:47

    Ha ha, the hard times are yet to come! Babies and toddlers are so easy. And you are the mom that you want to be. It’s so nice to see at such a young age. It’s nice that you could verbalize that and sort of map it out. You are so already there.


  3. Lloyd Duncan
    Dec 08, 2011 @ 02:28:24

    Hi Britt, your post was featured on the front page of the site!, if you didn’t know, and of course I had to see it. As usual it’s wonderful. And their right, you’re there, just keep doing what you’re doing and seeking God, your kids will follow. And, if I may, about this: What I long for most of all is to be a Mama that loves God. That is important, and if you seek Him and act “accurately” concerning His word, you’ll be a Mama, that He loves! Yea, I know He already does but, still…. Lord Bless!


  4. Ariel Havanah
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 03:59:03

    Yes! That is my bigest desire for my kids when I have them. I don’t care what they do in or with life as long as they’re madly in LOVE with JESUS!!!!


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