Up All Night

I’m actually really glad to be coming to you once again, dear readers, for this is the first chance all week I have really been able to sit down and write.  All three of us have been so sick this week, and it has not been fun.  I wrote a little while ago, how my husband and baby were sick.  Well, I thought I could avoid him long enough to save myself, but I guess it was inevitable!  Thankfully they are just colds and nothing too serious, although sick is sick- and none of it is enjoyable to go through.  Unfortunately, Marlee did come down with a little cold and fever.  You mamas know, it’s just so awful seeing your baby sick and unhappy, but the worst part is not really the sickness, it’s the fussiness and the sleeplessness.  I don’t think we have had nights like we have had this week since she was very small.  Tuesday night I didn’t get much sleep because I wasn’t feeling well.  Wednesday baby wouldn’t sleep.  I thought last night would be different, but again I was literally up all night with her.  All night!  God heard a lot of prayers from me this week!  I’m so glad that so far He’s answered my prayer to save Marlee from this awful lingering cough my husband and I both had.  But the sleeplessness…oh that’s just another thing altogether.  This morning we got 4 blessed hours of sleep, of which I was extremely grateful.

You might be wondering what I’m doing here, writing, while baby is again, thankfully…finally… sleeping again.  Writing has always been very therapeutic for me.  It’s my little time away, to think and to process my days.  When I write I can always see things from a different perspective and often see the good in a difficult situation.

Every since Marlee was born I think the bulk of prayers have been for sleep, for me, and for her, but much to my impatience God has often not answered them.  Sigh…This week this verse kept coming to mind:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

I would definitely say that this is a kind of trial.  Anytime you are deprived of sleep, and sick and still have to take care of a little one who is fussy and won’t sleep- and still be gentle and kind and patient!  Oh dear!  But pure joy?  I’m still working on that part…

Gentleness is an ongoing lesson.  It’s something God reminds me about often.  Honestly, I’m the type of person that tends to get snappy and terribly impatient when I haven’t slept or had enough to eat or just- stressed.  I used to just give in to that impatience, but I’ve seen a much better way- clinging to the word of God, which is living and powerful.  What I need to constantly remind myself is that gentleness along with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control are fruits of the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is God.  Those are the things that God produces in me, to behave in a way that I could never simply will myself to do- especially on nights like this week when everything in me wants to just cry and give up, bury myself under my covers and feel sorry for myself.

I cannot wait for everything to go back to normal here at the gentle home.  But until then, God gives grace.  Grace by giving my energy at 1, 2 and 3 o clock in the morning.  Grace in a few hours of rest.  Grace in a overall healthy child.  Grace that I can stay home and take care of my family.

Wishing all you mamas out there healthy children and restful nights.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Booksphotographsandartwork
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 00:56:33

    This makes me think of that poor mom in Colorado who parked her van with her two children in it at the gas station, left them and walked twelve miles away and now doesn’t remember any of it. They said she suffered from migraines and insomnia. I feel so bad for her, I think we can all picture that.


  2. Mea
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 07:58:22

    Oh yes I’ve been there. Many MANY times ( and not just with the little ones). Finding joy in life’s fender benders is something everyone is working on. I have suffered much but what I gained from my suffering is priceless. I feel so blessed to have endured the many trials in my life. The first time I discovered such joy was when I reached the Top of Texas. Now that is a tale to tell. Keep it up! because when you reach the top of the mountain the view will just take your breath away. But you already know that =p.

    P.S. I like metaphors. =p


  3. Mea
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 17:27:11

    Oh and I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes “Life is not about surviving the storm but learning to dance int he rain.”


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